So here I am, blogging after a long time, late at night, instead of studying for my tests which are in a week! Ahhh...so much has changed from the time I wrote about Rebecca. A lot of life lessons learnt, a lot of anguish lent out, met new people, made new friends, started viewing the world in a different light. And do you know the best part about this? Its that there is more to come. CHANGE is the only CONSTANT.
Since I seem to be not concentrating on how power amplifiers work, I'd rather pen down (here type it out) my musings of the night.
To start on a depressing note called Exams, that all of us hate, my semester exams went down well and I even scored pretty good grades. Yes I am definitely proud of my achievement. But somewhere down the line, with me being wired as one Pradnya Rane, can never try to feel proud about it. For some reason, I believe the universe is conspiring against me to just fall flat on my face every time I try to feel proud. Now you would say Pradnya, you are just over thinking it. Perhaps I am. But know one fact about me, is that I prefer to stay humble and modest and also look for a sense of humility in my fellow Earthlings!
So the other day, when the rain clouds had disappeared and the skies were beautiful hues of pink,orange and red, I sat in my balcony and had a moment of epiphany ( you see what I did there!!). Now I may sound completely irrational to you, but forgive me, I was a bit stupid to think so, but ultimately its the truth.So here goes...
When I look at the world and try to think about what everyone is trying to do here, in a sense , what exactly is our purpose here? So when I look around, I see people fighting over issues like this country is mine and not yours, this land is mine and mine alone. Men, women and children are being slaughtered for something as insignificant as land, or just because they did not obey certain customs of one's beliefs. Millions of people are dying without food and water and are hungry and miserable, with no roof over their heads nor a drop of water on their tongues. Millions. When you look at it that way, it ultimately looks like chaos.
Isn't that all were are? A big cauldron of chaos? Even the second law of thermodynamics states that Entropy of an isolated system never decreases, because the system always moves towards maximum entropy.
So there you have it. No matter what we do, the chaos will always increase.
I had seen this particular movie wherein there was a dialogue that made me think. "Oblivion is inevitable."
Currently, I am of the belief that after death nothing matters. Or even while dying, nothing matters except for being with your loved ones. Because after you die, you are definitely not going to remember Sigmund Freud's theory or Bernoulli's theorem or who was M.K Gandhi or whether you won the debate or not etc etc. Ultimately they all seem insignificant. For example, when one climbs atop a high summit, and looks down upon the panorama, one realises their insignificance in this universe. This is a true feeling for each and every one of us. We come from nothing and go into nothing.
Now this nothing can be interpreted differently by different people and I leave it up to you for thought.
Of late I have been completely saturated with sciences. Its said that when you do something in excess, it will eventually loose its meaning. I am feeling very guilty when I say this, that science no longer fuels my drive. I want it to. Because I find science pure and ultimate and very beautiful.But lately...perhaps its cause of the fatigue caused to mind from thinking about all the stuff that I wrote above.
Sometimes I get this feeling, where I feel completely blanked out from the rest of the world and dont even know my thought processes.Sometimes I feel like sitting atop a high mountain and forgetting all about the world. For when this happens, I think I can sum up that feeling by quoting a few lines from Pablo Neruda's poem 'Keeping Quiet".
Since I seem to be not concentrating on how power amplifiers work, I'd rather pen down (here type it out) my musings of the night.
To start on a depressing note called Exams, that all of us hate, my semester exams went down well and I even scored pretty good grades. Yes I am definitely proud of my achievement. But somewhere down the line, with me being wired as one Pradnya Rane, can never try to feel proud about it. For some reason, I believe the universe is conspiring against me to just fall flat on my face every time I try to feel proud. Now you would say Pradnya, you are just over thinking it. Perhaps I am. But know one fact about me, is that I prefer to stay humble and modest and also look for a sense of humility in my fellow Earthlings!
So the other day, when the rain clouds had disappeared and the skies were beautiful hues of pink,orange and red, I sat in my balcony and had a moment of epiphany ( you see what I did there!!). Now I may sound completely irrational to you, but forgive me, I was a bit stupid to think so, but ultimately its the truth.So here goes...
When I look at the world and try to think about what everyone is trying to do here, in a sense , what exactly is our purpose here? So when I look around, I see people fighting over issues like this country is mine and not yours, this land is mine and mine alone. Men, women and children are being slaughtered for something as insignificant as land, or just because they did not obey certain customs of one's beliefs. Millions of people are dying without food and water and are hungry and miserable, with no roof over their heads nor a drop of water on their tongues. Millions. When you look at it that way, it ultimately looks like chaos.
Isn't that all were are? A big cauldron of chaos? Even the second law of thermodynamics states that Entropy of an isolated system never decreases, because the system always moves towards maximum entropy.
So there you have it. No matter what we do, the chaos will always increase.
I had seen this particular movie wherein there was a dialogue that made me think. "Oblivion is inevitable."
Currently, I am of the belief that after death nothing matters. Or even while dying, nothing matters except for being with your loved ones. Because after you die, you are definitely not going to remember Sigmund Freud's theory or Bernoulli's theorem or who was M.K Gandhi or whether you won the debate or not etc etc. Ultimately they all seem insignificant. For example, when one climbs atop a high summit, and looks down upon the panorama, one realises their insignificance in this universe. This is a true feeling for each and every one of us. We come from nothing and go into nothing.
Now this nothing can be interpreted differently by different people and I leave it up to you for thought.
Of late I have been completely saturated with sciences. Its said that when you do something in excess, it will eventually loose its meaning. I am feeling very guilty when I say this, that science no longer fuels my drive. I want it to. Because I find science pure and ultimate and very beautiful.But lately...perhaps its cause of the fatigue caused to mind from thinking about all the stuff that I wrote above.
Sometimes I get this feeling, where I feel completely blanked out from the rest of the world and dont even know my thought processes.Sometimes I feel like sitting atop a high mountain and forgetting all about the world. For when this happens, I think I can sum up that feeling by quoting a few lines from Pablo Neruda's poem 'Keeping Quiet".
If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing,
perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death.
Perhaps the earth can teach us
as when everything seems dead
and later proves to be alive.
Now I'll count up to twelve
and you keep quiet and I will go.
But friends, I know all that sounded like a far fetched idea, but if you just stop for a minute and ask yourselves the same questions, wouldn't you feel the same?
Now to tell you how I changed my opinions about my own thoughts. My best friend made me realise that we maybe insignificant at the end, but what would matter is what we do before we all meet the end.
It would matter if you could make someone smile, put someone out of their misery, teach someone, give life to someone, pay someone for their hard work, make someone happy.
And doing this selflessly would give you ultimate joy too. Do you want the whole world to love you or just the select few who would love you unconditionally?
How many people did you try to make smile today? Did you give food to the hungry beggar on the street? Did you teach someone an important life lesson? THIS IS WHAT IS GOING TO MATTER!
I tell myself that I am not in the worst condition. There are people who are dying fighting wars which are not their own, who dont get a simple 2 square meal or have no basic educational or healthcare facilities, and that I am very lucky to have amazing parents who love me despite all my flaws and loyal friends to whom I can always turn in times of need. I am forever grateful for this, because a lot of people out there dont even have all this.
I tell myself that I am not in the worst condition. There are people who are dying fighting wars which are not their own, who dont get a simple 2 square meal or have no basic educational or healthcare facilities, and that I am very lucky to have amazing parents who love me despite all my flaws and loyal friends to whom I can always turn in times of need. I am forever grateful for this, because a lot of people out there dont even have all this.
Before signing off, I would like to say that we should try to live a life with no strings attached. We come here with nothing and are not going to take anything with us. Secondly, I tell this to myself, no matter how judgemental people are about me, I don't care. That is what they are. People. लोगोंका काम ही हैं कहना!! Because I know that I am crazy and that is not going to stop me from being the PRADNYA that I am.
People who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.
Because we all love Steve Jobs!
Amazing. Remember what I said? Your best work comes out of the worst parts in life. You'll look back at this after a few years and smile.
ReplyDeleteProud of you :-)